First sex scene on TV that you saw when your parents were in the room.

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You remember don’t you? You’ve all sat down in front of the TV and whatever the programme is, you can just tell when its building up to a sex scene. You start to squirm maybe, fidgeting in your seat. Maybe your Mum gets up to put the kettle on. Perhaps your Dad starts some inane conversation. Sound familiar? The thing is, I could be describing something that have happened last week – it’s perhaps more awkward when you’re an adult with your parents!

When you’re younger and don’t really care and are more curious, you feel less awkward, but your parents are more twitchy – they might be avoiding the fact you were growing up, or maybe you were really too young to be asking such questions of sex scenes and they wanted to “protect “ you!

There are a few of us out there that are of the age when the opening credits of “Tales of The Unexpected” was a taboo thing – parents seemed to think it was a programme that would have sex in it and so you weren’t allowed to watch it.

I mean, looking at it now, what did that women ever have to do with the stories?

“S..e..x”

“My Gran was looking after me one night and Dynasty came on. Remember, all the shoulder pads and big hair! A particular scene came on and she jumped up in front of the TV and changed the channel. “That’s quite enough of S.E.X I think” I replied, “Gran I have an O Grade in English and can spell sex..I even know what it means”.

Well, did she not take that the wrong way? ”What do you mean you know what it means, what have you been up to?!”. “No Gran, I mean I know what the definition in the dictionary is, not that I have actually done it!!”

“We were watching something on the TV when the trailer came on for The Singing Detective – all I remember is my Mum giving it “Right, time for bed now”! I don’t really remember what the particular scene was.

Prossie

“We were all sitting watching the TV one night and it had some programme on it that had a bit in it where they were discussing prostitutes. I had no idea what one was but needed to ask the question. “Dad, what’s a prostitute?”

I remember me and my sister were sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, where they were sitting. I can still picture myself turning round and gazing upwards into his face as I asked the question.

The response was “bed!”. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with the word. I didn’t think I’d sworn, in fact I would never intentional or otherwise, swear in front of my parents.

My sister had to explain to me what a prostitute was and explain why I’d been sent to bed. I must have been about seven or eight at the time.”

Police Academy

“I was reminded about this recently from a cousin – its something I said back as a child that seems to have stuck in the family and I’ll occasionally get the rip taken out of me!

We were watching Police Academy one night. That must have made me about ten years old or something like that. Me, my Mum, my two older sisters and my cousin. You know what that film’s like – if there was a sex scene it was an obvious wind up thing. I can’t even remember the bit in the film to be honest, but I did feel a bit uncomfortable.

I was wriggling about on the chair and Mum asked me what was wrong. She was dumfounded when I’d replied “I don’t know Mum, but I’ve got a sore front bottom!”

I still get reminded of that phrase by my family and it’s so embarrassing. I can’t believe what I’d said, I obviously didn’t have a clue why it was happening or what it meant!”