First time you were told about the birds and the bees

For the inspiration behind this blog click here.

So Madonna is adopting a baby. Its all over the news and of course everyone has an opinion. Mine? Well personally I can see both sides of the argument, but lean slightly to Madonna's side. She's giving baby David a chance in life and his father has publically stated he thinks this is the best chance for his son, given the poverty in his own country. I understand the arguments the charities have put forward too. Yes, if poverty is part of the child's culture, perhaps the money would be better spent in another way. I'd like to think though that the child's best interests have been considered and I'm sure Madonna will ensure David is well informed about his roots at an appropriate age. Its a hot topic which I'm sure will rage on as long as the press want it to.

So its a tenuous link to my next memory. The "birds and the bees". Anyone remember how they found out about that whole mystery...?

I have to admit I have no recollection of when I was told, who told me or where I was at the time. I like to think I've blocked it out because it was either so scary for me to have heard or that I was just so at ease with it all it wasn't worth remembering.

Is it even called "the birds and the bees" any more? What about "the facts of life" - that sounds worse, not just old fashioned but more scientific. Hell, there are more "facts of life" these days than sex, just ask Professor Stephen Hawking.

I think these memories will be different depending on if you're male or female. Is the expectation that girls find out before boys because they get periods, or do the boys find out first because they are more nosey and chat more about that kind of thing in school? There's probably an element of school ground gossip to it all anyway.

I think this is one memory where the experience will have changed over the generations don’t you? I shiver at the age young kids are being taught about sex these days.

The machine

“I was ten years old. I remember I was on a skiing trip with my parents and sisters. I had gone to the toilets with my Mum and was waiting for her at the sinks when she came out of the cubicle. I asked her there and then:
“Mum what’s a Durex machine for?” (she pronounced it "Durr" like it rhymed with "fur").

“It's pronounced Durex and we’ll talk about it later” (the emphasis on "Dur" like it rhymed with "pure").

Later that night I asked again. She couldn’t really get out of it. She explained to me about the birds and the bees and about contraceptives – she is a nurse and so you’d expect a high standard!. All I remember thinking was why anyone would want to blow up a balloon and fit it on their “bits”!

TV teacher

“It was a taboo thing in my house. I must have been thirteen or fourteen years old when something about sex came on the TV or was being discussed on TV. My Mum had come into the room and said “did you get taught this at school? Do you want me to buy you a book or something?” I think she was quite embarrassed. Maybe I should have asked what the “or something” was, but I never, I just said that yes, I had been taught about it at school and not to worry.”